Do men do this – Rating women like boys

But whilst drunk the other day. Oh, duh, duh, duh. He said that he’s worried that previously with his other girlfriends, he has wanted to have sex with them all the time. And with me, sometimes he doesn’t feel like that. He said I’m not usually his type.

[00:00:25] You’re listening to the everyday legends podcast. The show that is dedicated to helping everyday men build a legendary relationships with yourself, your partner and your world. I’m your host Mike Campbell. And the aim of this podcast is simple; to help you navigate life with more clarity, more confidence and purpose driven action. With plenty of stories, a lot of lessons and some, a loving straight talk.

[00:00:53] So let’s get started.

[00:00:58] Hello and welcome to another episode of the Everyday Legends podcast. I’m your host, Mike Campbell. And today, we’re going to do a bit of a Q&A episode, eh, with a little bit of a twist. And what I’m going to be doing here is I’m gonna, um, shortly we’ll play you the audio from a Q&A video I did, um, a little while ago that got a pretty significant response.

[00:01:24] And I feel like it’s worth delving into with a little bit more depth. The video was entitled: “Do men, think like this?” Um, I’ll, I’ll let you listen to the audio. I read out the question that I got from a follower in detail with all the nuance and the context. And then I speak to it and I spoke to this one with what I would call some pretty straight down the line, loving, straight talk, uh, to the degree that my team,

[00:01:51] um, and there was a little bit of question, like maybe do we need to, you know, in effect, tone down the language a little bit, but my language is very purposeful. And I shared that for transparency and their response was pretty overwhelming. How no did not tone this down? This is beautiful. Um, so do men and think like this? But what that ventured into was no , boys think like this.

[00:02:14] Now, so what I’m going to talk about after you’ve heard this audio is: what does that mean? Um, the difference between boy and man in that context and maturity and kind of how this plays out, why we do it, what we can do about it. We’re going to touch on that and kind of explore this Q&A in a bit more depth.

[00:02:35] So with that in mind, Hey Q&A’s exist. If you want me to answer and address and dive into and explore, and hit you with some loving straight talk, your question, then send them into me. You can hit me and my DM’s on Instagram, or you can flick us an email  I’m looking forward to doing more of these Q&A -episodes.

[00:02:56] Make sure that you subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. I would love for you to leave us a review and open and honest one. If it’s glowing, Hey, even better, but please make it honest. Listen, you’re listening to this. Tag me on social, take, taken screenshot, share it on your Instagram tag me and let me know what you’re enjoying about it.

[00:03:15] To the men out there, come on brother, this is an opportunity to show up. Share with the world what you’re doing, if you’re working on yourself and secret, then guess what? Doesn’t really count. The moment you step out and own that shit and bring some public accountability to it is the moment shit gets real. This is part of the Hero’s Journey.

[00:03:33] This is a part of being and stepping into the everyday legend, owning your shit and owning your journey. Despite what others may think, despite the potential for, I don’t know, fucking ridicule or something. If you’re working on you, then own it, brother. So, with that, do men to think like this? Let’s listen and circle back in a moment.

[00:03:54] The question today is, Hey Mike, I’m obviously a female, but would love you to answer this question I have for you. This has got a bit to it, but I think it’s worth us going through the details and we can kind of dive in there. I’ve been with someone for five months now and he said, he’s head over heels in love, wants to marry me

[00:04:12] one day. Has never had a connection like this before – strong language – but whilst drunk the other day, oh, Duh, duh, duh – he said that he’s worried that previously with his other girlfriends, he has wanted to have sex with them all the time. And with me, sometimes he doesn’t feel like that. He said I’m not usually his type.

[00:04:37] I’m two centimeters taller than him – Oh fuck, it gets worse. I’m an eight out of 10 and attraction, and he’s worried that maybe he should hold out for a ten out of ten. Run. Now. But then backtrack the next day and said he definitely is attracted to me and wants to be with me, but is just concerned about wanting to have sex with me all day, isn’t there.

[00:05:09] We have, we have sex daily at a minimum. Fuck, this dude’s getting it. So I’m at a loss here. Do men think like this? Boys think like this. A lot of the time they look like men, but they’re boys. Boys think like this. Fucking hell. I think I should, hold, you’re an eight out of, who the fuck is that drunk or not. I’m an eight of ten you’re an eight out of ten

[00:05:34] and I’m worried that I should hold out for a ten out of ten. Show me that you’re a ten and of ten, bro. By the way you can absolutely say that to him. How the fuck, how dare you judge me and give me a number at a ten and who the fuck are you? Because guess what it goes on, dude is not a ten at a ten. And I will have some compassion.

[00:05:54] So let’s stick with it. Do men things like this? No, not mature men. He’s a boy. I feel this is an extremely childish view of our connection. It is. Yes. I’m very confused whther to walk away or accept this. So I know you’ve come for me to, for a question and there’s a little bit more to this and we’ll explore it.

[00:06:15] But before any of that, what do you want? Do you want to be with someone who speaks like that? Even if it’s randomly once when drunk, I dunno. It is extremely childish. And it’s only been five months. So it’s not as though it’s been five years and you’re hearing this. Further to that, I’m extremely hurt that after five months he thinks like this maintains he’s all in. Ha exactly.

[00:06:40] So, uh, words, actions, not, not necessarily the same, not matching. But sometimes has these thoughts, which makes them question things. Now we all have thoughts that makes us make us question things. That’s fine. But his around the eight out of ten, ten out of ten, all that shit – that’s red flagged material. That’s worth investigating.

[00:06:59] I have accepted many things on his behalf. He has been bankrupt, twice. Okay. Ok, so we’re not going to judge him on this stuff, for being a bad person. He has been bankrupt twice has a 60,000 tax debt. $60,000 tax debt. No superannuation is on the doll. The benefit, the welfare. Is a struggling artist and refuses to get a job.

[00:07:23] Doesn’t pay child support has two children from previous relationship. So, okay, fuck it. You’re not a ten out of ten, bro? You don’t get to say that shit. If you are going to focus on what you want in a partner, regardless of any of that objectification, putting a number on people’s shit. Who the fuck are you?

[00:07:45] Who are you in the relationship? Who are you choosing to be? How are you showing up? Cause this dude ain’t showing up. There are all material, these are all material non-significant things, but it is hurtful that I have been able to accept a lot of his baggage, but he will question my height after nearly six months together.

[00:08:09] I mean, there’s not really too much more to say.

[00:08:14] Having a connection with someone, enjoying someone’s company and, and falling in love with them sometimes is not enough when all this other shit is glaring you in the face. So here is my really simple piece of advice to this woman. First one, to reinforce the point before it no mature men who accept and own their shit

[00:08:33] do not think like that. Two, if your best friend came to you and laid the situation out to you, regardless of who that person is, female or male and said to you, this is my situation, can you give me some advice? What would you say to them? What would you see, if you weren’t so in it? My suspicion is you would be red flag, red flag, red flag.

[00:09:01] You know what it was nice. Some of it, some of it was fucking weird and not nice. And I’m going to leave and trust that there will be someone out there who is willing to step up, who is right willing to step into being a man, not a boy child. Hop that helps.

[00:09:24] All right. So as you can see in that video, I was speaking to a woman who asked me that question and I do get a lot of questions from women now for these episodes, you know, that might play out, but gentlemen, I want to hear your questions, but the reason I spoke to that then, and the reason I’m happy to do it again now is because have you haven’t noticed there’s a lot

[00:09:43] in these kinds of questions that women ask me, that we can learn from as men, a lot of my comments are a lot of my posts or my content, um, is speaking to men, but women can learn from it and vice versa. So one of the things that came up there and there’s a few questions around it. And so I thought it’s worthwhile diving into here

[00:10:00] um, from my perspective, it is “boys thing like this”, what does it mean? What does it mean? That was a man, therefore, think like, um, what, what is kind of going on in that, ah, maturity conversation. And, you know, I see a lot of, um, the people who think like that, uh, look like men, but actually they’re more like boys and perhaps more and more accurate term, there would be adolescent; an adolescent male thinks like that.

[00:10:34] You know, for those men listening, if you think back to when you were an adolescent, those ages anywhere from 13, perhaps out through to kind of 19 or so, we were very, uh, deep in the reptile brain function, which was survival, essentially; eat, drink, sleep and get laid. I mean, personally speaking, I can recognise and resonate with that being, uh, almost all of my functioning.

[00:11:05] Um, but what we’re speaking to on a broader sense is that there’s a, there’s a, a lack of maturity and not to say that it’s not missing. That’s, when we are adolescent, we haven’t got there yet, but when you actually become physically a man, then there is a lack of maturity if you’re still in that place.

[00:11:25] And so what happens with adolescence is, uh, there is certain agreements, certain beliefs, certain identities, certain behaviours and patterns, and ultimately with that, limitations. When it comes to being a boy to being an adolescent. And so, um, that might be happening for you even though you’re perhaps a 42 year old dude with a job and responsibilities and children and wherever else you fit on the spectrum.

[00:11:51] I can’t tell you how many men I have spoken to, and if the question is, when did you become a man? Uh, how many answers I’ve heard? I still don’t think I am. Well, let me tell you this brother, you’re a man. By biology and by biological age, but transitioning into manhood is not something that everyone does.

[00:12:16] And that’s what we’re seeing reflected in that kind of answer to that question. Now for the dude in this situation, you know, there’s something really clear playing out here and it’s quite simply as an adolescent, he can’t own his shit. So instead of saying: “I don’t feel like I’m good enough: – which is clearly what he’s believing.

[00:12:40] He’s projecting his own insecurities and beliefs about himself onto her. And essentially saying “You’re not good enough. I can do better.” Where the ownership language there would be: “I don’t feel like I’m good enough. I could be better.” That would be a step toward maturity, towards responsibility. But he’s actually not accepting responsibility or ownership for his shit.

[00:13:05] And here at Everyday Legends, we’re about owning our shit, taking ownership of it, stepping towards it, facing overcoming, growing past it. And so what he’s actually attempted to do is lower her value and worth to make up for his own lack. Uh, and that is some pretty self centered and very insecure shit right there.

[00:13:25] I have compassion towards that, but I can’t just, one, shame this dude. Cause that’s not the answer, but it also can’t just go. I’ve got compassion and you’re fine. I see what’s happening. Your insecurity is playing out. There’s gotta be an element of loving challenge to invite this guy out of this or anyone else who resonates with this. Because maturity doesn’t necessarily mean not having those beliefs about yourself, but maturity means taking ownership for them and it means communicating more effectively.

[00:13:56] So even if you think that there is better or more out there for you, that is not how you communicate it. You know what he is essentially said is: “It’s not me, it’s you?” Where of course it couldn’t be more accurate that it’s the other way around. And so what he’s kind of doing there is gaslighting her, is projecting his shit onto her and potentially preventing her from being herself.

[00:14:22] He’s saying to her, I don’t think you’re good enough. And on her side or for anyone else, it takes a mature person to see that this isn’t about her, even though that’s basically what he’s saying. So, um, how do we know we’re doing this? How do we know that the little boy is, is kind of ruling our lives?

[00:14:42] Now, I also want to mention something really quickly with, uh, on this and that is, this chat about the little boy and the child within and childhood, ah childhood wounds and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. Big old topic. I want to touch on some things here and keep it punchy today. And then perhaps it might spurn further conversations down the line, further episodes and so on.

[00:15:05] Um, so how do we know perhaps that we’re doing this? What, what ways does it show up? And it could be many ways, right.

[00:15:12] But for some perhaps, um, baseline ways in which the boy is showing up, the adolescent, the immature adolescent, is, well, as I said before, lack of ownership and accepting responsibility. It can look like reactiveness; you react to things to, to, to feedback, to criticism, to anything. And what’s, that’s often, um, doing is giving additional and undue weight and meaning to things. We make things about us. We react as if someone is attacking us. And the thing that is often coupled with that is defensiveness. And what does this actually speaking to a lot of the time is sensitivity or perhaps over-sensitivity. Uh, and so what can often come in there is making the other person wrong.

[00:16:03] Maybe invalidating their experience. No, no, no, no, no. That’s not what happened when someone’s sharing their experience or something, because we didn’t really don’t want to be wrong. But the thing is you can’t, someone’s experience, can’t be wrong; it’s their experience. But the little boy we’ll be sitting there feeling like they’re made to be wrong and want to correct that and want to invalidate the other person’s experience.  That doesn’t work.

[00:16:26] So I’m wanting to make you wrong so that I’m not wrong as well as squirming in defensiveness. And one of the other really obvious things that I think is obvious, but perhaps for a lot of guys, it’s maybe not that obvious, is acting like a naughty boy.

[00:16:40] You know, if you talk about, um, the dog box and being in the dog box that’s, that’s the language and behavior of a little naughty boy. And whilst it might be something that you think your partner, you know, creates; she puts you in the dog box. No, you put your fucking self in the dog box, bro. That’s something that naughty little boys do, they had the naughty corner.

[00:17:07] But that doesn’t just look like the dog box. It can, I think, it has two very, um, contrasting appearances. It can look like really withdrawing and sulking with, within ourselves and only you know, what’s going on in your head and in your state in, when you’re in that state, but sulking ruminating on how the other person’s wrong and how they’ve wronged you and kind of, um, ‘I’ve been victimised’.

[00:17:34] Or the other side of it, which leads to the reactiveness and defensiveness, a lot of the time, is fighting back.

[00:17:40] You know, like a little boy, says well fuck you. And they throw the toys over and they fucking storm off or, you know, do some damage somewhere. Well, if you’ve got a grown-ass man who’s doing the kind of stuff. What does it look like? It looks like a lot of bad shit that we see in society;, power and authority and strength used ineffectively to hurt or damage or bring down others or self.

[00:18:10] Now, why do we do this? Why, why does this happen? Well, there’s a few reasons. One of the really simple ones is as a society we’ve generally gone away from adequate and effective transitions and perhaps initiations into manhood. So here’s a question for you to ask yourself. When did you become a man? Was it when you got your first car, your first job moved out of home, got laid for the first time.

[00:18:36] Was it when you had a kid? What was it? Was there a process? Who else was involved, who guided you through it? Because part of what needs to happen in the transition from being a boy and adolescent to being a man is the letting go of those old agreements and those old stories and those old patterns and those old beliefs that kept us in boy mode, and stepping into what is possible. And what is possible for the man is responsibility.

[00:19:05] And it’s not just about self now. It becomes about others and the community. And there’s a lot of men out there who are working for the sake of others. But if we look at the intentions and the drivers behind it, actually sometimes that’s about how I’m then recognised and praised and given “Hey, guess what? You’re a good boy. Here’s a fucking star.” That’s potentially still good boy behavior.

[00:19:28] So one of the reasons that we do this is because we’re not transitioned to the manhood effect. We’ve not taught, we just witness. And if you didn’t have good role models for what a man is and what a mature male is, well, there’s a good chance you didn’t learn it. You didn’t. Implement it, you didn’t integrate it in, become it. But even if you did witness it, if it still wasn’t introduced and guided and you were taken through it, then there’s a good chance that that is the case.

[00:19:55] So then the other reason why we do it is because the little boy wants to feel safe when you are dependent on others, aka. A child, safety is very important. And so what we’ll do often as the little boy and this case project our shit onto others to protect ourselves – see how he’s doing that? He doesn’t want her to see that he’s not a ten out of ten, that he is as he believes not good enough. So he is protecting himself by saying, if I do this, she can’t see that in me.

[00:20:28] And it all comes back to safety. I need to feel safe. And so it’s happening all the time in our lives, you know, when we get to that point of discomfort, of challenge, but also broader speaking, right, in shedding the old skin, letting the boy die and truly stepping into who you are as a man, we come to our edge.

[00:20:52] The boy is terrified of the edge because he doesn’t feel safe. He’s got no one to hold his hand, and he’s learnt, i.e. You have learned – ways to keep yourself safe, self preservation, beliefs, things that you don’t have to try, that you don’t have to put yourself out there.    don’t have to see that you can hide so that you can feel safe.

[00:21:11] But of course, as we know, no, the more we look at it whilst I might feel safe, it’s fucking frustrating. It’s uncomfortable. I’m stuck in the cycle. I feel like there’s potential squirming in me to get out. And it is, it’s fighting with the little boy who wants to keep you safe. And so the little boy is the part of you, the adolescent, that when you are taken through the edge, when you’re taken to uncertainty, when you’re taken to the possibility and opportunity and invitation to growth, justifies your way out of it, tells you why not to. Comes up with the reasons and the excuses as to why you don’t need to, as to why that’s not a good idea and over here is safe.

[00:21:50] So maybe that’s something to reflect on. Where that happens for you, where that did and has happened for you. I know this has happened for me a lot in my life, and it’s an interesting topic and conversation. I can think of many, but even in my earlier days, in my relationship with my wife now, you know, she was someone who, um, chose to see me and meet me where I was at, but invite me forward.

[00:22:15] And, you know, I still had a lot of my adolescent tenancies and beliefs and patterns then. And so a couple of things happen: One, the invitation was accepted and I stepped forward, but not all the time because you’re not a master of something as soon as you start. And one of my, perhaps more common behaviours

[00:22:40] was a reaction, uh, when challenged and not even when challenged, when something was going on and it wasn’t even fucking about me, it was about her. The little boy makes it about him. And so my behaviour was to react and to get defensive. And I would take things personally. And it was, you know what, in reality, this is going into the masculine-feminine here a little bit, but her feminine was kind of in a bit of a storm and testing and – not consciously – and needing me to be solid and dependable. And what did I do? I cave because the little boy caves, cause he doesn’t have it strength and wherewithal and understanding and wisdom to sit in the storm and know this isn’t about me right now.

[00:23:22] A little boy makes it about him. I get defensive, I get reactive. I’d make an issue out of something that wasn’t a fucking issue. Uh, and it’s certainly been a growth journey for me, but this is the journey that we go on.

[00:23:31] So I want to speak to a couple of points that I think you can do to support you in this, you know, beyond inquiry and curiosity, and perhaps exploring being supported in this.

[00:23:44] Um, so the first one is: to simply look inwards to reflect on those questions that I’ve asked you here today to write them down and go back and re, re listen to this and write them down and explore them. And, you know, where did I become a man? Who, who, and what, and how determined that? And what I think a man is? If I don’t think I’m currently a man, why not?

[00:24:06] What would allow me to feel like I had matured into a man? Slash let go of the adolescent boy might be an all of those questions. And then and look at, you know, in regards to the, the video, the audio that we shared earlier, where do I label others and where do I project my shit onto others in order to protect myself? Is really what’s going on there.

[00:24:29] And so what might assist that is where do I judge others? Because let’s not forget. And if you haven’t heard this before, generally speaking, gentlemen, where you judge others is actually a reflection of where you judge yourself. But it’s safe to predict it outwards instead of turning the mirror on ourselves and going, “Oh shit, there’s something in myself that I judge that I reject that I find hard to accept and I find it really easy to pin that on to others.” Um, cause there’s an easy mark and that’s what the adolescent does. It doesn’t own his shit.

[00:25:04] So where do you project? And here’s another one, cause this is what this guy was doing – where do you seek perfection? You know, I’ve heard from so many men around the struggle and dating and relationships about how they just have such high standards, you know. And actually it’s not high standards, it’s seeking perfection. We seek perfection in others to hide our own imperfections. We, perfection is a fear of judgment. The idea of being perfect means I will be immune to judgment, and that is an adolescent tendency. It’s, it’s a self centered “I’m the center of the universe, I need to be perfect.” Where do you do that?

[00:25:46] Explore that with curiosity, and please let this land and ruminate and reflect on it and explore it and investigate it – with compassion. We have to be compassionate with ourselves in this inquiry. Um setting   super high  expectations of yourself that you never meet, but you feel like you  should, but you can’t, but then you don’t, but you sit them again, but you should, but you can’t, but…

[00:26:12] That’s where the adolescent is playing out. That might speak to you as an actual adolescent. Lived in an environment where, you know, all that you did was never good enough and you won praise and love by performance. And you know, those will speak to those well, those are the things to inquire about cause they need to be healed. And by healed we mean that shit needs to be worked through, bro. If that’s your operating system, guess what?

[00:26:38] That needs a fucking upgrade. We can’t be mature, responsible, effective, clear, grounded purpose-driven adults – Everyday Legends – if we have the same operating system that we got when we were seven, eight, nine, ten, 12, 13, 14, 15. Upgrades, gentlemen if it’s time for you to upgrade, then explore that.

[00:26:59] So here’s the next point you got to find men, men that can invite you into maturity. If you want to go down the rabbit hole, you can look at all sorts of stuff around initiations, rites of passage, traditional, um, journeys and so on, but it doesn’t need to be that complex for now. Start simple find men that can invite you into maturity, that can see you, see all of you, even if you might be hiding it yourself.

[00:27:27] What am I giftings is to see? And when someone sees your insecurities, they see you a little boy, the patterns, the beliefs that he has – that you have – you know, to keep yourself safe, they can invite you out of that. With love, with respect, with kindness, with compassion, and a word that my good friend and you would have heard him in the first, uh, guest interview episode in number two, Mark Groves shared: grace.

[00:27:58] But the thing about the little boy is, as I said earlier, he can’t be meet with shame. He needs to be met with leadership and compassion and respect. Um, because that invitation is, I know who you can become, not for you, although that is an initial part of it, but who you can be for the community, that’s actually what the maturity is about.

[00:28:21] And so find men in who can call you to that into the fire. To see what you’re not seeing or perhaps not admitting. So that, that part of you, the safety seeking boy can die. It sounds dramatic, but that’s actually what we’re talking about. Letting go of might be an easier word to stomach to start with.

[00:28:42] So, why do that? Because quite simply, gentlemen, your life is calling for you. This is essential to not only lead a powerful and grounded life on with meaning and purpose and contribution, but to be a useful human. Children, adolescents are dependent on others, adults lead and give back as part of a community.

[00:29:14] And if I simplify that even more, why do this? To feel better about yourself? To have a better experience as a human, to be more effective man, partner, provider, parent, protector. So you can step into becoming an Everyday Legend. So the other thing that looks like, sit the fuck down and think deeply about what you want, because I can tell you those things, but you’ve got to think about what the shit is for yourself.

[00:29:46] Now, if we go back to the example of this guy and the question, is it about eight out of ten, ten out of ten, I need someone’s taller. I need someone who’s better looking. Do you want looks? Is that what you want? Why? I’m not saying it’s wrong, but figure out why. Most guys that is about two things. The kudos, the respect that we can get from our peers. Or the fleeting: she wants me.

[00:30:09] All external based validators. That’s what the little boy needs: reassurance that he’s okay, i.e. That he’s safe. Or when it comes to relationships, in one or not in one right now, do you want to connect with someone as equals, as partners, someone who can see you, someone who can get you and meet you in that intimate space, hold your heart, move through life with you as teammates? Because that’s my experience, speaking with men.

[00:30:42] But of course, this is just in the field of relationships, but this being the point? What do you want? Is it based on outdated beliefs on things that the little boy in the adolescent was sold? Hey, guess what? You’re important. You’re valuable. The more money you earn a bit of job, you have the more muscles you have, the strong you are the best you can fight, what you can do with your dick, how many woman slash people, you can fuck: chase those things through life as an adolescent, and you will be chasing life. Forever. You’ll never land. And everyone, that will be everyone’s experience of you. And you will meet, like with like, i.e. you’ll only meet people who reciprocate that: party boys with nothing grounded.

[00:31:26] So dig into what you really want. And also, because this is paramount to this, you’re really afraid of. Now, here’s a really simple thing that you can work on to start with. Simple: shift, or work on shifting from reacting to responding. Cause the boy reacts, as I said before, so responses a more mature way of going about things in the, and it’s in communication and relationships and interactions.

[00:31:52] So to start with simply take a moment, take a breath. And reflect what’s this about? Is this about me? How can I respond from a place of maturity and consideration? Learn to take feedback, seek feedback, actually ask for it. Hey, can you tell me what you already think of me? I’m working on myself. I’d like to learn more about myself.

[00:32:08] I feel like there’s some things that I might be missing. And sit and receive that without getting defensive, without needing to make anything more about it, without needing to make it wrong or make excuses. Just sit and receive. It’s information. It’s not necessarily the truth, but it’s certainly that person’s truth. And you can honor that.

[00:32:31] And then you’re definitely gonna have to shed some old beliefs. You know, maybe some old identities need to die. For example, you know, if you’re one of those guys who, who identifies with being a fighter, I’m going to fight through life. I’ve got to win everything, everything’s hard.

[00:32:44] Well, guess what, my brother, aahh that’s not going to serve you the longer you go on and maturity is about letting go of that identity and stepping into something new. So explore that. And then you may need to be able to go through a process or initiation where you can actually be guided into maturity where you get to let go of the old and, and also make way for, and build, uh, the new, the new beliefs, new identity, new skills, the new way of being.

[00:33:11] But the bottom line is this. And when we come to this guy, that’s his shit. And he decided to vomit it into the world. That’s what the little boy will do. He’ll make other people responsible for his shit. This is never going to be meet with someone in a relationship scenes, in a mature space. It will only be met by someone in the same space.

[00:33:33] If it is met by someone in a mature space, they will leave. Now. I want you to keep and keep in mind something really important here. I’m not perfect. You don’t need to be perfect. Everyone has shit, please. Don’t be judging yourself that, Oh my God, I’ve got some stuff and I need to be perfect. Those ridiculous expectations don’t work for us.

[00:33:51] Maturity says I’ve got shit. I’m happy to work through it. And I’m happy to be in communication about it. I’m allowed and happy to be seen so I can know where to step and where to grow. And so the key is how do I face my shit? What do I do with it? What can I learn from it? What is it asking of me? And what does it teach me?

[00:34:11] Fellas inquiry, curiosity. Those are your tools. Those are the modes to be in. And certainly for that guy in that Q&A, that is absolutely the mode for him moving forward.

[00:34:30] Trust that you’ve got something from this. Please, if you have questions about this episode, then ask them, share with me, go to social media. And as I said, tag it. Ask me a question, share this with men and in your world, you think could benefit from it.

[00:34:43] If you want me to do more episodes about this then we can potentially explore it maybe through some guests as well. Remember wherever you find your podcasts, give us some love. This has been the first Q&A episode of the Everyday Legends podcast.

[00:34:56] Thank you again for joining in I’m your host, Mike Campbell. And remember gentlemen, work on building that legendary Integrity.



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