What is it to be & feel successful as a man
This topic sits central to basically everything we do. It’s the one thing – not, one of many, actually – that we tend to have a ‘just part of life’ that we don’t even question.
But what is it even? To be a successful man? The unspoken cultural agreement in the West looks something like: He earns ‘good’ money, has a ‘good job, has nice things as a result, such as a house and car. Bonus points for power, status, and happy marriage but can also be a sexually talented bachelor. Sometimes both at the same time.
Welcome to manhood, son, that’s your blueprint. Try your best to live up to it. And don’t worry if it doesn’t feel like you, go for it anyway because otherwise, well, I mean, otherwise, you won’t be a success.
And obviously, if I’m not a success, I’m a failure by default.
And this is how it has been for so long, the glorified measure of success as a man, that has sent many a man chasing more and more and more and never really landing in a place that is actually meaningful.
He never connected any of those things to personal meaning – to what they provide for him, apart from feelings of success because they’re the socially agreed-upon measures. And with that, the socially agreed upon respect and approval for achieving such things.
Or the men that can’t reach them, and so pile endless pressure and expectation on top of themselves trying to collect more of this, often missing what is in front of them all along; relationships, family, LIFE.
This is what I cover in today’s episode – what is a success, how have we got to this point, and how can we take ownership of it for ourselves.
I’ve worked with many men over the years and chatted with (and studied) even more. What we place as success sits so paralysingly central to our life, to how we feel about ourselves, to what we do all day every day, that we simply must prioritise exploring it in more depth.
It isn’t a baby out with the bathwater situation, of course. We don’t reject striving and achieving, but we want to give individual context and meaning to it. And that’s what I cover in this episode of the podcast.
We look at how we’ve narrowed down success as a man to our ability tp Provide, Protect, and Procreate. We explore these and where they actually have deep instinctual evolutionary roots
And I’ll give you some things to reflect on and think about so you can start to determine what success is for yourself.
This really is just the beginning of this conversation, as it can and does need to go even deeper. Exploring and really uncovering what success is to you, why it is and how to both anchor that in deep personal meaning, and, therefore, create built-in personal motivation to create that, is central to the second and third pillars of the work in my major coaching program the EVERYDAY LEGENDS ACADEMY. If you want to find out more about that and when the 2021 intakes are – find out more here or email me today firstname.lastname@example.org
And if you have your own questions for a solo Q&A episode, then send them through to me at email@example.com
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- EVERYDAY LEGENDS ACADEMY – find out more here
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