Using Your Origin Story for Personal Growth with JuVan Langford

Listen to this episode here.

JuVan: [00:00:00] I often think of it. If you had like a piece of paper and you write the word truth in the middle. And then you crumple it up and just scrunch it, throw your elbow on it and you fall on it with, with your back and you step on it with your feet. That’s what it means to be a human. You go through things and to take the journey of dusting off that piece of paper and peeling back as much as you can each day. To get closer to the truth of who you are.

[00:00:34] Mike: [00:00:34] You’re listening to the Everyday Legends podcast, the show that is dedicated to helping everyday men building the legendary relationships with yourself, your partner and your world. I’m your host, Mike Campbell and the aim of this podcast is simple; to help you navigate life with more clarity, more confidence,

[00:00:53] and purpose driven action. With plenty of stories, a load of lessons, and some are loving straight talk. So let’s get started.

[00:01:06] Hello and welcome to another episode of the Everyday Legends podcast. I’m your host, Mike Campbell. And today with me, I have a good friend of mine. A brother from another mother. Seems to be a theme for me on these podcasts. I surround myself with good men. There’s a little bit of reflection for me, right now. That is Mr. JuVan Langford. I am pumped to have JuVan on the episode. I have learnt so much from this man as a mentor, as a friend, someone who has been in the trenches, so to speak with i.e. Doing a lot of work and creating kick ass events and helping a lot of men. Because in the trenches kind of overselling it a little bit, isn’t it. We didn’t go to war, but we’re still fighting a battle. Whew, zing.

[00:01:50] And last year he and I got together and we formed, and then we’ve got some amazing people around us and with the help of them an event called Manifest, which was national symposium on men’s health, really the aim there was about raising men’s emotional literacy and supporting and healing men.

[00:02:14] Over that time, I got to learn so much more about JuVan. I got to become an even closer friend to him. We almost spent six months basically living together, on many calls daily, almost. And he happened to be sitting with me the moment that I found out that I was going to be a father for the very first time, the phone call from Nards.

[00:02:35] And of course that moment strengthened our bond. But the other thing that really strengthened our bond was this, one, willingness to fully show up in the presence of each other to be seen by the other and to connect truly, deeply. And that created a real friendship. JuVan has also been a mentor of mine.

[00:03:02] I’ve learned so much from him about growth and leadership and you know, men and, and understanding me and, and helping and supporting and facilitating men in their growth. I’ve studied with him and under him. And as I see it, I’ve been on stage with him. I’ve also been challenged immensely by him. I recall we should have, we didn’t speak about this in the podcast, but fuck it.

[00:03:23] Bonus! I recall at 2:00 AM and on a Saturday evening coming out of the first day of Manifest into the second day, JuVan, myself and Shira and Rohan are two other board members on the Mentour our charity organization. Having some what you might call very deep, very insightful, very challenging. And let’s be frank, fucking uncomfortable conversations.

[00:03:54] And I’m so glad that it was led by JuVan. That for me was an example of his courage to say, what is true to give the receiver, the respect that “I know you can handle this truth. And so I’m going to speak it for you”. And in that moment, it was some feedback for me and some of the others as we went around and challenged the pants off me, but it was a simple example of how much this dude is willing to go where it needed to go to support the person in front of him.

[00:04:25] He’s a brother to me, he’s a very, very close friend and I feel very fortunate to have him on the podcast here today. So we talk about all sorts of things. We go into his journey. From a rough and challenging upbringing to where that took him wearing masks, hiding who he was trying to fit in and ultimately kind of abandoning himself and not really having an identity, to really starting to explore that, to, to challenging the beliefs that he had formed a bit himself and the world around him and going into a huge period of, that he’s of course, still then as we all are, inquiry and curiosity as to who he is.

[00:05:03] As to why he’s here and in that, seeing his immense talent that he has and being determined to bring them to the world, support those who he can support. And so we talk about a few of the key things that challenge men, and we explore identity. We explore intimacy and you know, also a bit of a personal story from there on JuVan and that one.

[00:05:22] And we also explore integrity, a favourite topic of ours here on the podcast. So all of that, and so much more for you to get into. Can’t wait for you to hear this episode, as always remember, share with us where you’re listening to this grab, do a screen, grab of your favorite part of the episode, share it on social media, tag JuVan and I, and let us know that you’re listening to it.

[00:05:43] What you’re getting out of it. Give us the feedback. Please send me DMs. I love receiving the stop that remember also where you get your podcasts like us, click subscribe, please give us a review and a rating. It helps us massively in getting this in front of more men who need it, who want it, who can benefit from it. And always remember whilst I love you listening to this and giving us the feedback, please don’t just listen to it, do something with this information, whatever out of this, write that shit down, put it into your life. And then if you don’t know him, reach out and ask. Otherwise let’s get into the episode. Here is my good friend, JuVan Langford.

[00:06:26] JuVan. Welcome to the show brother. It is very exciting actually for me, here.

[00:06:31] JuVan: [00:06:31] Bro. It’s uh, you already know. You already know, I got a lot of energy, man. I’m ready to really just pour it all out. So, I got  abig bucket.

[00:06:42] Mike: [00:06:42] You do have a big bucket. Okay. So, you know, I spoken to the intro a little bit here and you know, some of my audience will know you, some will know you very well. Some will quite likely not know you at all.

[00:06:53] I know you on a level, but of course. How can you really know another individual when we’re all still figuring your own stuff out? Right. So where I want to start is a, I think it’s a simple, but it’s potentially a very daunting and challenging question. I know it is for a lot of men. And so that is who are you, but I’ll actually put the words to it.

[00:07:10] Who is JuVan Langford?

[00:07:13]JuVan: [00:07:13] In a nutshell, I think I, I believe, I trust that I am a vulnerable, authentic and powerful leader. I think life has given me so many beautiful opportunities to follow deeper and dive deeper into it vulnerability. Um, I think authenticity has been one of my greatest challenges because I had a very colorful beginning to life. And I often had to adjust and adapt and manipulate myself in order to fit within the context of an environment.

[00:07:45] And so I’m just learning now as a man, what it means to be me, my voice, my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions, and um powerful. You know, I’ve sat in my pain for years. And I’m learning, I’m in the process of learning what it means to stand in my power with my voice, with my body, with my energy, with my vision.

[00:08:09] And so those are, those are the areas that I’m all working on and through. And I would describe myself as that because that’s where my, the energy in the vibration I’m putting out there. I just focused on those areas.

[00:08:21] Mike: [00:08:21] Beautiful.

[00:08:21] So thank you for sharing that. So you said in the end, you know, one of the challenges longterm perhaps has been around authenticity and speaking to your colourful past.

[00:08:28] So how has that been a challenge what’s led to that being a challenge for you, do you think? Cause I certainly know that I see that in a lot of men, authenticity is a challenge, but how we get to that is all different, right?

[00:08:39] JuVan: [00:08:39] Yeah. Authenticity. I think it’s not a destination. It’s more like a, a constant and continuous initiation.

[00:08:49] Because the more, with more information, you can take greater action. And each day, as I have conversations like this with you and other leaders in the men’s space and, um, friends and family, I’m learning more about my self, through the experience with other, and with that information, I get to go, I can sit with it and chew on it and tear it apart and look, and find a deeper truth in that. And each day I feel very fortunate to be in relationship with people who are willing to be a mirror and willing to hold space for me to grow and to stretch like yourself. We’ve had plenty of these conversations, Mike, um, and with morph, with that information, I’m able to be exquisitely honest with myself and to peel the layers.

[00:09:29] I often think of it. If you have like a piece of paper and you write the word TRUTH in the middle. And then you crumple it up and just crunch it and you throw your elbow on it and you, you fall on it with, with your back. And you step on it with your feet. That’s what it means to be a HUMAN. You go through things and to take the journey of dusting off that piece of paper and peeling back as much as you can each day to get closer to the truth of who you are.

[00:09:55] And so for me, it’s, I’m not afraid to ask for support from people to help me peel back those layers anymore. And so authenticity, I see it as something that is a continuum. I see it as a process and for so long, I just want to get to the truth. Just, just open it, just pull it apart.

[00:10:14] Mike: [00:10:14] Just give it to me!

[00:10:16] JuVan: [00:10:16] Right. Give it to me! And now I’ve, I just have fallen in love with each day, living from a place of curiosity of who’s going to help me today. Who’s going to support me today. Who’s going to peel back? Who’s going to grab my hand. Who’s going to dust off some of this, you know, this residue that is keeping me from my truth.

[00:10:40] And it’s been such a tremendous journey, bro.

[00:10:45] Mike: [00:10:45] So some, you know, some of the language you’re using there is, you know, now I do that and so on, so clearly that hasn’t always been the case. Can you talk us through, you know, how you got to, to that willingness and that curiosity and what was on the other side of that?

[00:11:01] JuVan: [00:11:01] Well, I guess it all begins, um, from childhood, like most things, um, you know, some broad strokes of my story, Mike You know, losing my dad as a young kid, I was three years old. He passed to Leukemia. Um, I was left to a mother who was really, too young, too, too young, a child herself, to be raising kids and resulted in being legally adopted my mother, struggled with drugs and alcohol early on.

[00:11:24] And so with, with those factors in many other, yeah, it was, I had a lot of trouble and trauma to face. And I think over time I found creative ways to pretend as if there was nothing wrong. I found creative ways to fit in and not to be a problem. Um, in, in school or around family or friends. And so I shrunk physically, emotionally, spiritually, and I’m just learning to stand erect to, to speak direct, to, to live a bigger life and to be the fullest expression of myself, and to be able to reach each layer and level of emotionality, you know, like I I’ve really shrunk the range of emotions that I’m able to access. And now today in each day, that goes on, I’m able to reach a little bit more, a little bit more further because, because quite frankly, conversations like this, you know?

[00:12:21] Mike: [00:12:21] Yeah. Yeah. So was there a period? Cause you know, you see before I sat in my pain for a long time and now I’m learning to stand in my power. So was there a period? Was there an incidence? Was there people specifically, a moment in your life where there was a bit of a, a realisation and a desire to change, because I’m assuming when you were sitting in your pain, there wasn’t this instantaneous, ‘Oh, I need to stand in my power’, but you didn’t have that level of understanding in that moment. So can you, can you talk us through your, your understanding of it?

[00:12:52] JuVan: [00:12:52] Absolutely. I think at any, every man has a different point in his life, but at some point we hope that it made them realise’s that what I’m doing, who I’m being is no longer working. I had a lot of trouble connecting with men early on developing healthy male friendships.

[00:13:08] So I turned to sports. That’s where I got my fill. Uh, the sports ended in high school and I went to college and I got my fill. And then. College ended. I’m 21 years old, 22, and I’m fresh into the world and scared shitless. Scared Shitless. And it occurred to me, probably not until about 25, 26 years old that I need to dismantle these two and a half decades of conditioning that are keeping me small, that a limiting me.

[00:13:43] And I need to face the reality of the situation, which is that I feel disconnected from men. I’m afraid to trust a woman. I am so focused on a bigger picture that I’m afraid to really sit with some of the things that are rocking the foundation of my life. And it is my belief that, you know, we, in order to grow and to expand and to heal, you’ve got to participate in your own rescue.

[00:14:13] And I didn’t know what that meant. And so I got into leadership and start reading and books and yes, there were, who showed up. I had mentors and I had communities that I would plug into cause my soul recognised that something’s got to change. And I went through the process of really making peace with all these little pieces that I was afraid to look at.

[00:14:33] And I went in to myself and into those dusty rooms, I call them the homeless places within ourselves. Right. And I sat in it. I sat in the pain. I sat in the dishonesty with self. I sat in the inauthenticity. I sat in the disappointment of being me.

[00:14:52] Mike: [00:14:52] And when you say you sat in it, does that imply that previously you were essentially running from it? There was just avoidance?

[00:14:59] JuVan: [00:14:59] I was bullet. I was a bullet. They couldn’t catch me if they wanted to. You know? And what are realise is that it’s exhausting that life doesn’t work. It wasn’t working for me. And then I would hear people say you’re such a talented and handsome and, and just articulate and well dressed and spoken guy.

[00:15:19] And I didn’t see myself that way. I would look at myself in the mirror and see past myself. And that’s not the case, you know? And I feel if, if there are a lot of men that don’t choose, who they want to be in an identity soon enough society happily chooses it for them. And I didn’t want to be that guy that got lost in the sauce that got ended up taking a job and been unhappy and then take that unhappiness into a relationship and then to fatherhood and then to friendship.

[00:15:52] And it’s every area of my life. I’m like, I want to figure this thing out. I want to know why I’m here. And that, that question has really driven me since probably about 24 years old. Why am I here? I graduated to school. Why am I here? You know, so yeah. Yeah. I can go, I can keep going, but I’m going to just an interest the question.

[00:16:17] Mike: [00:16:17] Beautiful, Okay. So then, so, so I know what you do, but what we’re seeing there is, huh, okay, there’s some stuff that, I’m, a bullet I am running from, and maybe there’s some things that I’m starting to realise there was a, an, an itching in the foundations by the sound of it, and you started to look inward. So I wanna, I want to keep going beyond that, but the first thing I want to actually ask you about is, you know, you went into yourself as what you said.

[00:16:43] So, I understand that on level, but for the listeners out there in a pragmatic sense, what does that even mean? What does it look like to go into yourself?

[00:16:54] JuVan: [00:16:54] I feel there’s like a physical and more grounded definition of that. And then there’s a spiritual, right? And I often dance between those two worlds, my human and the divine.

[00:17:05] And I’m not sure what, what the beliefs are, those who come across this podcast. But I believe in God, I believe in energy, I believe in the universe. But first one was, I believe in God. And my relationship with God has evolved tremendously over the years with that being said, Mike, I feel being with myself versus being by myself, that distinction changed the game for me, that was taught to me by a mentor of mine and what it means to be with yourself – it means to sit in the discomfort, sit in the unknowing, sit in the disillusion, sit with the fantasy, sit with the factors, and ask yourself questions, self inquiry, self-education and to get clear as to why you are behaving, acting, or treating people in your life a certain way. And to be honest about what is and what is not working.

[00:18:09] You know, one question that really changed my life and leadership course that I took back in 2015, I was asked such a simple question, but it was in the environment in which it was asked that made all the difference because environment is everything. But the question was, what do you want?

[00:18:35] And my response was, well, I don’t want to be broke anymore. And I really don’t want to deal with people who disrespect me and don’t honor me. And I don’t want to live alone. I don’t want to die without having kids. I, I… JuVan that’s a great response, but not to the question I ask you, the question is, what do you want?

[00:18:57] Have you sat in the energy? Have you sat in, in, in the idea of what you do want, because right now you’re really clear on when you don’t want and you’re going to attract more of that into your life. And so I think sitting with yourself, sitting in it from a physical standpoint is asking those questions is self inquiry from a spiritual standpoint, go in; what they’ll say, “If you don’t go within you, go without.”

[00:19:23] And I think going within on a spiritual level is me having a conversation with my spiritual anchor, which has God, sitting by the ocean, going for walks in nature, traveling, no being, knowing what it means to be alone. And for me spiritually there’s a difference if you don’t learn how to be alone, you’ll only know how to be lonely.

[00:19:44] And I realised that distinction between being with myself versus by myself is everywhere I go, I take me. And so I’ve learned to be in relationship with me, to joke with me, to play with me, to. I remember being in a leadership challenge a weekend, and then they said for the next seven days, when you get out the shower, you just sit on the edge of your bed with a bottle of lotion and lotion, your entire body be with your feet, your ankles, your hands, your, everything.

[00:20:07] I did this. And for the first time I actually saw my body. You know, my chest and my belly button in my legs and my knee caps and my elbows. And I was like, wow, I carry this with me everywhere I go. And I actually saw myself for the first time as a man, because, you know, as we get the shower, we dry off water, still dripping, throw your shirt on and run out the door.

[00:20:29] And when that, as men, it’s not normal. Or common rather, for men to be with their bodies to be, we think with our bodies, but to be with our bodies. Right. We can be in our feelings and angry and upset and frustrated, but to be with our feelings too, is to address like, okay, right now I’m angry. I’m angry because this person has challenged my integrity.

[00:20:52] That’s a core value of mine. They’re not doing this to hurt me, but they are doing it. And it’s very important that I clear this space so that I can have a healthy relationship here. I’ll say, this is, this is going to become an inappropriate relationship and I can damage. And it’s going to be pain for both of us because I didn’t give voice to what’s important to me. To go through that process in your mind, that’s emotional intelligence, that’s personal responsibility.

[00:21:15] That’s being with yourself. And that has taken me years.

[00:21:22] Mike: [00:21:22] Oh, you didn’t just clock it, like the first time you tried?

[00:21:25] JuVan: [00:21:25] And I’m still learning and you know, what’s, what’s supporting me in that process is teaching others. And what I realised more recently, Mike, is that I don’t have to be complete to compete.

[00:21:37] I thought I had to have it together before I coached, I had to have it together before I launch a program, had to have it together before I do my first retreat. And that’s bullshit. The truth is all I need to do is stay in the practice. And be conscious of who I practice with and what I practice on. And if you can get clear on those two things you can, create, be, do, have, anything, not everything, but you can have anything you want. And the beauty is that if you get clear enough, you’ll look up and realise that you do have everything.

[00:22:10] Mike: [00:22:10] Very nice. Thank you for sharing that. So what I’m really getting there is this distinction between being with and being by yourself and, you know, what’s really landing for me there is, you know, we have a, it’s so easy to say, Oh, the day and age we live in, the cell phones are everywhere and all that kind of stuff. There’s always been things that we’ve been able to distract ourselves with when we perhaps are by ourselves. But I think the key distinction I’m hearing here is: a lot of us spend time by ourselves, but we’re not actually there with ourselves. We’re distracted. We’re in a different place. It might be in a phone.

[00:22:43] It might be in a different world. It might be even in a book, none of these things are good, nor bad. Right. It’s just, how am I spending that time with myself? And if none of the time alone is with myself, if I’m constantly distracted and in another place, what am I learning? And potentially, as you were saying before, what am I avoiding?

[00:22:59] What am I running from? Right?

[00:23:01] JuVan: [00:23:01] One of the things I’ll say that that’s coming up for me, as you’re, as you’re communicating, you know, men go through these periods of calm midlife crisis, or, you know, you know, uh, you know, post-college traumatic stress. What am I doing? Who am I now? And I think the reason that life can appear, or perceive to be heavy for men specifically, in a lot of times it’s because they never, we men, never take the time to identify what we’re carrying and the way you get clear on what you’re carrying is by being with yourself long enough. It’s by being willing to listen to your body, your mind, your heart, your gut.

[00:23:42] When it’s talking to you, the body keeps the score. It’s always talking to us. And because I have established and am building and developing a relationship with myself, I can listen to what it’s saying. You know, Hey J, do you wanna get on this? Pocket’s talk about – butterflies; of course. I would love to jam with you Mike, let’s talk.

[00:24:02] What do you want to go? What do you want to talk about? You know. Hey J, um, you know, the assistant that you hired, she’s asking for, to double her salary and, um, we, you know, she’s the only one we have. We need her, what do we do? Pains in my chest, hand sweating, frustrate, steam coming from my head, all the energy is happening.

[00:24:21] I’m like, Oh, I’m upset. I’m disappointed. I’m discouraged. I feel that my confidence, my confidence in this person has been compromised. The body’s telling us these things and the more that we listen in, we can create outside of ourselves.

[00:24:39] Mike: [00:24:39] Yeah. Beautiful. And so what I’m interested in now is, and certainly for the benefit of everyone, because I’m hearing these beautiful things and I know these insights, but what has led you to this place, you know, and this place, please expand on this, like, what are you actually creating in the world? You know, you’ve spoken about leadership and kind of men’s work a little bit. Can you enlighten us on what it is that you actually doing in the world? And the question I really want to know off that is: Why?

[00:25:07] JuVan: [00:25:07] I’m here to heal men. And perhaps in the way of saying that is to heal, man. M A N.  Mankind, man, woman, just man. And I feel when it comes to men, the male specifically, if you listen closely enough, you’ll realised that men today are not working to achieve success anymore. What they’re working to achieve is peace; peace of mind, peace in relationships, peace in their vision, peace within themselves.

[00:25:48] And then this active pursuit for peace, for inner peace, they’re being asked to maintain relationships, sustain careers, provide for families. There’s all these expectations that are placed upon the hearts and minds of men. And they interrupt and they delay the achievement of peace within a man. And I feel strongly, I feel a strong call to create spaces where men can go to and be able to reframe and work through those narratives because it’s the unhealthy narratives that are essentially creating unnecessary suffering for men.

[00:26:31] How am I doing that through the vehicle? That is the Mentour. Right. The Mentour, the multinational charitable organization.

[00:26:38] It’s headquartered in Los Angeles. It’s also headquartered in Sydney, Australia, thanks to Mike and Rowan and Shira. And the team out there. You guys are phenomenal. And we exist to educate, equip, and empower empowerment and leaders in the men’s mental health space, right, really to advance mental and emotional wellbeing for men.

[00:26:55] And we create content, curate conversations, and we lead very powerful uh, experiences that bring clarifying solutions to those that we serve and what I, what I feel, why I’m doing this is because I was that man who needed exactly what we’re pitching, what we’re selling, we’re offering. I needed that. And I, and guess what, today, as I’m traveling the world, Mike, doing this work, well, maybe not during the pandemic, but the last seven years of doing this work with men full time,

[00:27:29] I need it more and more. The more I do it, the more I realise I need this in order to survive, I need this in order to show up as a leader, these spaces are important. There’s so many leaders like myself, yourself, across the board, who is in many ways are leading in isolation. And need a space to reframe, to regroup, to reclaim a vision for their lives.

[00:27:52] And if we had more spaces, I feel that we would have less dysfunctional men in the world, less men who are not showing up to relationships, showing up to the workplace, showing up to the community. So the churches to the world. And so if I can use my story of my experiences and be vulnerable and authentic and send in my power as I’m working on a daily basis and put a dent in that conversation.

[00:28:18] Then my job here has done.

[00:28:21] Mike: [00:28:21] Beautiful. So cool. Okay. There’s, there’s lots that I would love to explore in that. So let’s do that, but because you know, this is certainly what I see. And certainly this podcast is designed, you know, Everyday Legends, it’s speaking to men and, and supporting them and, you know, exploring themselves and what’s possible for them.

[00:28:37] And I certainly see you as a leader of men as a, a see-er of men someone who has this huge ability to see to the root of things and, you know, kind of work up from there. And so when you think about, you know, your normal average Joe, everyday dude, what do you see as kind of the, the, the depth, the deepest challenges that, that he, that we, are facing?

[00:29:02] Cause of course we are, as you’ve just shared with that guy, we still are in this stuff. You never outgrow it.

[00:29:07] JuVan: [00:29:07] Yeah, well, let me, let me first start with what’s possible what I’m working, what, how I’m working with men and where I see them going. Let’s just say, call it a healed man, right? A healed man has his presence is felt.

[00:29:23] When he leaves the room, a part of him doesn’t because he showed up to that space. A healed man, he’s living a purpose driven life. There’s something greater than him that he’s focused on. These pouring his energy and life force into. A healed man is as being a contribution to his family, the community and the world.

[00:29:43] Maybe not all at the same time, but over the course of his time, his focus is on those three areas. A healed man has established healthy relationships around himself who are mirrors and our guardrails to his ways of thinking and being in world. A healed man has the ability to access and manage a wide range change of emotions, Mike.

[00:30:09] Right. So what do I see? That’s what’s optimal. What do I see? I see a society that does not benefit from healed men. I live within that society. Every day I step out my door, I enter that society and it saddens me. What I see is men who are underdeveloped because of what they avoid being with. And they’re consequently destined to repeat the same behaviour and pass that on.

[00:30:41] I see men who are living in moral crisis. Men who don’t know who they are, what they want, where they’re going. I see men who are incubating their insecurities and their wounds. Men who don’t know where they stand, right? Men who are, are in search of an identity, purpose, and direction. Men who are gathering, but in false unity. There’s not a true essence and a reason behind or depth of relationships.

[00:31:06] Right. And I just see men who are being strangled by a deep seated fear of inadequacy. My job is to close the gap. How do I do that? I’m I’m teaching men and training others. Um, and in this practice, myself and teaching men, how to cultivate a sense of, of, of self and identity, right? How to self educate and then heal that education.

[00:31:34] How to identify and then deconstruct the unhealthy patterns, the, the, the language, the, the, the beliefs about themselves and how they see themselves with the context of the world. Teaching men how to strike at the source. I’m a see-er of men. Yes. Let’s strike at the source of whatever you believe your greatest challenge to be.

[00:31:55] And I really think in, in essence, in those spaces that we’re creating men are able to face the reality of his situation. And have the tools and, and gumption to monitor their thoughts, their beliefs, and the emotions that are running through them, so they can show up. We just want men to show up.

[00:32:17] Mike: [00:32:17] So I’ve heard you say that a few times. So I want to explore that. What does that mean ‘to show up’? Well certainly through, through the way that you see it.

[00:32:25] JuVan: [00:32:25] I think three things. The first is presence. Presence, you know, a powerful presence requires that we as men be powerfully present. So to show up is to bring all your yourself to the moment, to the space, to the stage, to the dinner, to the meeting, to wherever you are. Our presence is important.

[00:32:49] The second thing for me, I would say is personal responsibility. You know, that you’re showing up when you are, when you have a strong will to take the responsibility for whatever it is that you’re in. Right.

[00:33:02] And then lastly, uh, we give you a third P the third P would be Purpose. I think when a man is driven by purpose, he’s showing up by default. It’s just a part of the game. You know, someone is on purpose by how they show up in a room, how long they stay in that room, what they say when they’re in the room or at the table. And I think. In short, I would say those are three things that would really tell me that a man is showing up.

[00:33:31] If he is present, if he’s taking personal responsibility for, for the part he’s playing in, whatever he’s playing and he’s being driven by a purpose and working on crafting that purpose and tightening it and dusting it off and moulding it and making it work for him.

[00:33:50] Mike: [00:33:50] Interesting. Beautiful. And I love that. And so what I’m really getting behind all those things is intention. Is like living, you know, and you see the word purpose there. What’s coming to me is like living on purpose, you know? So when you say presence, but I could say, but, but I was there. I was sitting in the meeting. And you know, what’s coming back to me there is what you said before around, are you by yourself or you with yourself, you know, is your body there, but where’s your mind, where’s your intention, right? So you actually showing up with intention and therefore kind of living purposefully, regardless of if you are bringing, you know, some sense of purpose, you are purposefully living, showing up, taking responsibility, et cetera. Like that intention I felt it’s really powerful that that is coming through there.

[00:34:38] JuVan: [00:34:38] I’m aligned 100% intention. Intention is something that, um, intention is a word that I feel I want to be in an intimate relationship with. Because I feel without that all areas of life, lack meaning, and it’s so important to be clear on why you’re doing what you’re doing.

[00:35:07] Why you’re choosing who you’re choosing. Why you’re going where you’re going, eating what you’re eating, sleeping where you’re sleeping, saying what you’re saying, you know, like it’s, so it’s so important to understand the why behind it.

[00:35:26] Mike: [00:35:26] So then when you, you know, I’m putting my head into this, most of the content that I create, and it’s kind of what you’re talking about before:  it’s basically for 20 year old Mike or Uni Mike, as, as you know, we like to refer to them in my inner circle and my family, I’m trying to think. Okay. So he’s hearing that, and that sounds exhausting, but so hold on. I’m, I’m, I’m kind of, am I in my head all the time? Am I really thinking about every little thing?

[00:35:53] Where does that take me when I want to start? Oh, you know what, maybe I haven’t been living with that much intention. Maybe I haven’t been showing up as, you know, JuVan is explaining it. Like, I hear that. And, and these are messages that I get, and I’m sure you get them as well as like, I want that, you know, that healed man that JuVan is talking about, I want that, that, but that sounds a bit exhausting. Where do I even start? How do I, how do I get to that? What would you say to that?

[00:36:17] JuVan: [00:36:17] Relationships relationships, relationships. You laugh Mike right? Like that, say this speaking, candidly or transparently, that’s the purpose of the podcast. Like I’m relationship with you, Mike, because I have a deep love and a bond with you, but even, even underneath all that I admire the way you think, the way you process, the heart you bring to each moment, um, because I’ve watched how you interact with other people. I’ve watched and observed your journey from the sidelines on how you’ve grown as an individual. And you, whether you’re aware or not, you have set intentions, and I have experienced the outcomes and the results of those was intentions.

[00:37:05] So you get shit done. You get shit done. So because of that, I want to be around, get-shit-done-rs. I want to be around result oriented individuals. So I want what you have. That’s why I’m in a relationship with you. Right? I want to learn and grow and be challenged by you. Right? Often times like if you’re in the wrong relationships, it can actually disqualify you for what you say you want.

[00:37:33] If you align with the wrong people, right? Like people who have no voice or have lost their voice will often invite you to lower yours. I’ll say it in a different way. People who have no vision, or don’t know where they’re going, will often invite you into their confusion or to a whole confusion of your own.

[00:37:54] They’ll come up, they’ll come into your house and put a, put a little tornado and push you in it and then leave. That shit happens everyday. We don’t see it as that, but you got to go, sometimes you gotta go through seasons of where, you know, seasons of silence and seasons of feeling friendless and loveless and, and lifeless.

[00:38:15] Like what is my life right now? So that you can find a spiritual anchor for you. It may not be God. For you it may be the ocean. It may be surfing, whatever it is for you. You got to find that anchor. Relationships are anchors. And when we lose our way, they pull us back home within ourselves. That’s the answer.

[00:38:37] Relationships will only ever always be the answer. The challenge is choosing wisely. The challenge is taking inventory and being clear on when some of your relationships complete themselves, when it’s no longer time to be in relationship with certain people. That part.

[00:39:00]Mike: [00:39:00] Well, that’s a challenge.

[00:39:01] JuVan: [00:39:01] That part I’ve had. I’ve had, I’ve had my dance with that. I I’m the president of that club and I’m also a member of that club. And, um, it’s not easy. It’s not easy to, to, to release people back to the universe, to wherever, wherever they came from. And I think for me, Mike, what I’ve learned around relationships is, um, the lessons, the lessons are, are, are grand, but the essence is: walking away from some relationships, you walk right into everything you’ve been asking for.

[00:39:41] And it’s not that you leave them – the person – you leave the place. And that distinction again, going back to distinctions made the world of difference for me because I was ‘Captain Save’m’. I wanted to say everybody, my mom, grandmother, my sisters, I mean friends, uh, employees. I wanted to save everybody. And

[00:40:06] you know, that chapter ended, their role in the story has come to a close, they exit it’s time for them to exit stage. Right? And so, as long as you hold onto them, the curtain can’t close, we can’t get to the next act. And some people that we’re holding onto they were literally interrupting our growth and that’s a problem.

[00:40:25] Mike: [00:40:25] Yeah. And I think, you know, the other thing, cause I’ve, I’ve been in this a little bit, you know, we did a podcast recently on loyalty and looking at it, that, what you’re talking about this old view of loyalty is that, but I’ve known them for quite a long time, so I need to stick by them and perhaps I’m doing so I’m abandoning myself.

[00:40:42] And as you said, my growth, uh, and I see the immense challenge in it for a, for a lot of people, for a lot of men in that, because there’s this, there’s this thing with loyalty that really sticks, um, almost sticks us to the ground. Like, and as you see, that’s the place, that’s the place, uh, relationships, the people that we’re hanging around with influence us. How are we choosing to be influenced?

[00:41:08] These are the things that I’m picking up there. And again, being intentional with who we are hanging around with now, that doesn’t mean if we, you know, step aside as you said, so the next act can continue, that those people don’t ever enter it back into our lives again. Sometimes we’re going to separate in order to come back together.

[00:41:24] Right. But we can’t get to that if we keep clinging to them, can’t get to that if we keep clinging to them.

[00:41:31] JuVan: [00:41:31] Absolutely, absolutely. I’m aligned 100%.

[00:41:34] Mike: [00:41:34] So then one of the things I want to, uh, touch on, you, you were kind of talking about, in fact, before you even get to that, ‘Captain Save’m’. I wanna, I want to address this guy.

[00:41:45] So I resonate with that, but I want to inquire to you specifically, and I also know that you have therefore live this experience, but you’ve seen it, and you supported men in this, this is everything that we’re talking about, what was the intention behind  ‘Captain Save’m’? What, what was he about? Why was he taking on that mantle of I’ll save everyone?

[00:42:09] JuVan: [00:42:09] Well for me, I was a captain of wounded women, powerful women, but deep down they were wounded. And the closer I got to them I realised that their problems were too big for me to handle. And so it was this vicious cycle of seeing them, spotting them in the crowd, approaching them, proposing this grand plan. Cause I’m Mr. Enroller. I have a grand vision of what’s possible.

[00:42:36] And then as I got closer to see them, who they are and how much they’re actually fighting for their limitations and not the life that they want, I throw my hands up and disappointment and discouragement because now they didn’t allow me to save them the way that I know that I could.

[00:42:51] And they are not participating in this rescue. And if you just, and then I make them wrong and bad. And what I was doing is really trying to heal the relationship with my mother, because the first wounded woman I ever met was her. And that’s a tough conversation to have and still trying to heal her and find creative ways. Today I’m learning how to love her. And I love her with all my heart without her I wouldn’t be here. We wouldn’t be on this podcast right now. And she made some really powerful choices. One was to have me, and I’m thankful for that. And although she’s not who I need her to be anymore, she is here and she’s on her own journey.

[00:43:33] And I get to respect that and the deeper I create a connection in that bond, the less saving I have felt I’d needed to do when it comes to my relationship with women. And that has made all the difference. I think the key for me is the more generously I listen to myself, the more gradually I heal and I feel like my healing has, has been exponential because I have done the one thing that most people don’t do and that’s listen. Listen.

[00:44:14] Mike: [00:44:14] And you say that in regards to yourself and when it comes to being in relationship to others?

[00:44:22] JuVan: [00:44:22] Yeah. Both.

[00:44:23] Mike: [00:44:23] I mean, what you were talking about before with being with yourself, you know, essentially was all about listening. Right. As you said, you’ve kept your head, your heart, what sort of saying to your body?

[00:44:33] Ah, beautiful. So then, you know, what I’m also hearing in there is that, that relationship to your mother and this wanting to save. And so this is another part I think that’s so evident in, in so many men and it’s something I see in you, you know, it’s, it’s, I think it’s very easy to see this, um, this man of immense power, immense of intellect, this huge heart.

[00:44:53] But there is also this light, playful side and it’s very present. I see it. I see, I see this all the time. And in that I see this, the boy, JuVan, you know, this dude who wants to connect and play and wants to love and be loved. So yeah, I’m interested to ask you, what’s your relationship to this side of you?

[00:45:11] JuVan: [00:45:11] The fun side for me, historically, having fun and being in my feminine led to bullying, abuse, and abandonment. So I’m working on and working through the paradigms around fun and around playfulness and being childlike. It’s a, it’s definitely a dance for me. And I think, I think, again, going back to relationships, I think I identify people who are fun, loving, and are playful and maybe not the most grounded individuals, um, or just come from pure heart.

[00:45:51] You know, I think of people like Rowan, Rowan is like, pure heart. Rowan is just the little boy I wish I grew up with in the neighborhood, you know. He’s someone who is always smiling and blushing and joking and he’s tactile. And those things exist within me and being in a relationship with him, it brings it out.

[00:46:13] He extracts that essence from me. But it doesn’t come naturally for me. And I’m working through that. I’m working through the wounds, I’m working through the trauma and I think it’s important to even give voice to now, Mike is like, you don’t have to be complete to compete. I want to go back to that. You know? Cause that that saying has been so resonant for me and I was talking to someone and it just kind of blurted out my mom, you know what?

[00:46:36] Me and my, I love my, my, my power statements. A good, a good idiom or a quote or some, some alliteration. I love words. But it came out and I was just like, man, that applies to everything. And so, so, so fun and playfulness is something I’m working on. I’m working on that right now as a 32 year old man. Um, I’m working on that because I know when fatherhood does come knocking for me, I want, I want to be remembered as that.

[00:47:04] I want to be remembered as a playful fun loving, uh, charismatic dad to my children and partner. So, um, I’m definitely working through that right now.

[00:47:14] Mike: [00:47:14] Very nice. So then now in the work that you do, how do you see this playing out in the lives of everyday men? This relationship to the little boy, you know, not necessarily the playful side, but you spoke about wounding and that stuff in there, how has this play out?

[00:47:29] JuVan: [00:47:29] Yeah, yeah, I’m reminded in this moment of a, of a, uh, uh, a statement that, that a lot of kids hear, um, when you’re in school, in primary school and you know, mom often says it, you know, “Until you do your homework, you can’t go out and play.” A lot of men are not doing their homework. Homework being the heart work, being the awareness, being the trauma.

[00:48:00] And because we’re not doing our homework, we’re not playing. We don’t have time and space to go out and play. We don’t have the finances to create experiences for our family, loved ones and friends. We don’t have the energy ,beyond all our commitments, to do, create, be a fun person. And how I see it playing out with men is that men don’t have a place to go to nor come from.

[00:48:28] That’s why the Mentour exists,that’s why I created the Mentour. That’s why it started. And that’s why we’re working. So feverishly to build and expand this company and create brick and mortar campuses where these things can be taught, Mike, you know, and, and to give men an opportunity to continue their education, their emotional education.

[00:48:47] Right. This is something that you talk about as well. It’s, it’s so important. And we want to put these men in a position where they can expand where they can grow, where they can be challenged and reach all spectrums of what it means to be not a man, but the man, another distinction, those, those, those words make a big difference in difference. Big difference.

[00:49:10] Mike: [00:49:10] Yeah. What do you mean by that distinction the man instead of a man?

[00:49:14] JuVan: [00:49:14] Well, ‘A man’ means that it’s, it’s singular. It’s, it’s boxed in, there’s, there’s not room or space for error or room or space to create, um, or for pivoting or play really, but to be ‘The man’ and ‘the’ is communicates possibility. It’s expansive. It’s it’s opportunity. Opportunity, opportunity exists in the. Right.

[00:49:44] Mike: [00:49:44] Yeah.

[00:49:44] JuVan: [00:49:44] ‘THE’ – It’s grand, it’s colourful. There’s layers to it. And I think the difference between being ‘A man’ and boxing me in, and being ‘The man’ that I desire to be, or I think I am, or I’m working on or towards is the room that men are looking for right now.

[00:50:04] Mike: [00:50:04] Yeah, beautiful

[00:50:05] JuVan: [00:50:05] That’s what men are looking for.

[00:50:08] Mike: [00:50:08] Yeah, and what I’m hearing there is like, ‘a man’ it allows for no individuality and there’s a full stop at the end of that. As you say, with ‘the man’ there’s opportunity at the end of that, and it’s actually, brings in our individuality because of course, if we tried to get everyone to be the same, we would have a very bland world full of robots, which we already know.

[00:50:28] Beautiful. I love that distinction. And there was something else that came up for me there in, um, you know, if you, “If you don’t do your homework, you can’t go out and play.” And this was perhaps what I’m seeing. And I’d love to get your take on this as you said, you know, we’re not doing the heart work so we can then, and it looks like to me, what so many men are doing is that they’ve actually taken that, that line, whether or not they heard it in the home and the idea of it, and the still running it, literally; I need to work. I need to work. I need to work. I need to provide, I need to do all of these things and that is, you know, perhaps looking busy and looking successful and so on before I can then stop and play and enjoy my life.

[00:51:09] You know, smell the roses. Right. I got to keep working. I’ve got to keep working. I need to put that side of me aside and keep working and keep working before I can go out and play before I can come in and play perhaps.

[00:51:20] JuVan: [00:51:20] Absolutely. You know, as you’re talking, I was thinking, you know, I was, I was on a call recently with somebody who I absolutely adore, and I love, a friend of mine up in Canada and we have a call on a biweekly basis that we check in with each other, just to see where we are in life and our journey and hold space for each other. And he says, JuVan I was asked a question recently about rock my boat, and I want to share the question with you. And I said, well, what is it? And he goes, someone asked me, what is it like to be on the other side of you?

[00:51:55] In essence, what is it like to be in relationship with you? For others, for someone else to be on the other side of you, to sit across the table from you. Or in a relationship with you and to work for you. And it was one of those, mmmmhmmhmm! moments. And I had to sit with that. And  while I haven’t, still haven’t debunked that, but I can say it’s much healthier today than it was yesterday. That is open, much more open today than it was yesterday. Much more aware than I was yesterday, because I know that I’m in my process, I’m honouring that process and I’m also making an effort to stay in the practice of everything I’m teaching and inviting people into. I think that’s the key thing. A lot of leaders who are preaching it and teaching it, but not reaching it themselves, reaching for those things.

[00:52:53] And a part of leadership is really understand that it’s all a journey. And I didn’t know that in the beginning. I didn’t see that in the beginning. And I believe I damaged a lot of relationships because of that. And I dropped a lot of balls and miss a lot of opportunities because I wasn’t present, aware and intentional. Today, that’s not the story I’m telling. I’m very proud of who I’m becoming. Not so much focus as I, who I am right now, but it’s my becoming that I’m pouring so much energy effort into, because I want to know that I’m using the gifts and talents that exist, that exist within me.

[00:53:33] And that I am using the time energy effort, my skills, my body, my mind, and my beauty, everything to the benefit of building humanity. That’s why we’re here or here to be in contribution, to serve. And if I’m not doing that, I feel it. Because I’m listening to my body. I’m off, I’m off, you know, I’m way too moody,

[00:53:55] I’m way too, I’m aggravated. I’m way too bossy. I’m way too ego-driven in this moment. I’m not in service. I’m not in contribution. I’m not present. I’m not intentional. I’m not listening.

[00:54:08] Mike: [00:54:08] Yeah.

[00:54:08] JuVan: [00:54:08] I got to be responsible for that. It’s not, that’s not easy to say those things to yourself, let alone hear them from somebody else.

[00:54:15] Mike: [00:54:15] Yeah, absolutely. When, and this was the honesty, I think that you’ve been talking about throughout all of this, certainly, uh, you know, from the very get go there was that, that visual of a piece of truth, uh, the piece of paper with truth written on it and in exploring into that, and where I want to take that is, you know, I, I, you’ve shared a few different things there that you’ve been exploring and working on and, and, and, you know, diving in to understand. And I also saw you speak big, um, on one of these a little bit recently, and it was an, a post that you made, because what I’m hearing in all of this being with yourself is intimacy. And I saw you share a post around, you know, along the lines of, a realisation perhaps, of chasing intimacy. So I’d love for you to kind of expand on that. Like what was going on for you there? What’s the realisation. And perhaps, is there any learnings that you can share out of it?

[00:55:08] JuVan: [00:55:08] How much time we got left? I don’t know. We have to do a part two here.

[00:55:12] Mike: [00:55:12] We’ll go 24 hours live.

[00:55:15] JuVan: [00:55:15] We’re going to do a part two here, Mike, um, okay. So when I was sharing the context, to give some context to those listeners is my lifestyle the last seven years has been, uh, has consisted of. International travel, leading events, retreats dinners, has been coaching one-on-one and working with cultural icons, celebrities, athletes, everyday men. Um, it’s been a blend of like shooting content at different beaches of the world and meeting incredible people and having deep, meaningful conversations.

[00:55:48] It’s been so colourful for me the last seven years. I’m so thankful and grateful for those experiences. And also, I want to thank me for the sacrifices that I made in order to be there. You know, a lot was missed out. I missed a lot of birthdays. I miss a lot of holidays. I missed a lot of time with family.

[00:56:04] Um, very special moments. And I sacrifice for, for my vision as, as you do. What I realise now, being in the middle of the pandemic for the last seven and a half months, what I, the conclusion I’m coming to is that the lifestyle I created was so that I could have intimacy in my life. And now that I don’t have the travel, the ,vents, the dinners, the photo shoots, video shoots, and I’m sitting with myself again in a different way, it feels like in some ways, for the first time, I’m realising how much I need and crave intimacy. But the fact that I was chasing it, and I wasn’t becoming the space for those things to come to me. And I was working so hard for it. And now I think what is my relationship with intimacy? What is intimacy to me?

[00:57:02] How much of it do I require in order to be functional? How much do I require in order to thrive? And I’m having to sit with these questions. And I, and I, what I do know, I, I can’t quote the individual who said, I can think of his name, his name leaves me in this moment, but all failure, failures in ethics and in integrity, are first failures in intimacy because we don’t have people in our lives who can hold us accountable, who can hold us high, who can hold us physically.

[00:57:31] And what happens is we turn unhealthy ways of being, thinking, and we formulate things like inappropriate relationships, or we find ourselves in a situation-ship bringing pain to someone because we didn’t do the work before entering that union. And so what I’m realising about myself right now is that I get to reframe my relationship intimacy and I get to get clear so that I don’t hurt anyone in the process of healing myself. That’s personal responsibility, that’s presence, right. That’s purpose and it’s not easy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s frustrating. I’m tired. I’m emotional. I’m moody, it’s taken too fucking long.

[00:58:14] I, I, you know. It’s a lot, is it requiring all of me and, and it’s necessary. So it doesn’t matter. And it’s necessary, period. You know, the buck stops there. So I’m doing what I need to do. I’m being called into a next level, next level of learning and of listening to myself to God. And I’m up for the challenge.

[00:58:46] That’s why I’m here. Yeah. And, um, I’m, I’m having my moments in the middle of it. I’m having a lot of moments, not a moment. It’s a moment. Cause it’s, it’s, it’s some, it’s some fancy, it’s some things that you, we just get ready for, you know, a lot of curve balls in the growth process, but it’s worth it because eventually you hit a home run.

[00:59:06] It only takes one home run for you to change everything.

[00:59:12] Yeah. Nice. And you know, there’s that intimacy to me feels like this word that we get to explore, you know, because there’s men, I think we, we, we want it, but perhaps we’ve often been sold a story that we’ve quite easily lapped up, of intimacy is very simple.

[00:59:29] It’s narrow involves one other person. Perhaps you create a longterm relationship with that person and that’s where all your intimacy comes from and it’s where you go to get it. Right? But what I’m hearing from you is there’s a lot more to that.

[00:59:42] Yeah, absolutely. Um, intimacy brings healing. I think that’s why I want it so bad.

[00:59:49] I have this deep desire to heal me. I feel that I’ve been given chances in the past. I’ve definitely been in the world before and in this space, um, before. And I think what I’m, what I’m learning right now is that healing is predicated on exquisite honesty, Mike. And part of the human experience is, is, is.

[01:00:14] Blind to yourself, liars don’t heal. Part of the human experience is the discomfort of not knowing. You know? The discomfort of change, the discomfort of evolution, of letting go, of surrender. And I think why I say relationships are always the answers because they support me in my process of deepening my honesty with myself. And the more honest I can be with me, the deeper my healing will be.

[01:00:48] That’s what I want from me. I don’t want to become a father and a partner, husband and pass on my pain and pass on my wounds in place of my wisdom or in lieu of my wisdom. And that’s what I see happening. Those are the men that I’m serving and I’m like, man, do you realise how many people you’re hurting by not just getting this, figuring this out and people you’re pushing away.

[01:01:15] How many opportunities you’re blocking? Do you realise how much this one thing is taking up space in your life? And through those conversations, this healing that exists for me too. So I feel very fortunate to be in this work, uh, to be leading the charge that I’m leading to be in relationship with those I’m a relationship with, um, to be willing, to be vulnerable and to work on being authentic so that I can stand in my power and, and ultimately I think.

[01:01:47] I want to make God proud. You know, when I, when I make my way back home, whenever that is, however that looks like I want to, you know, take off my jersey, set it aside and say, I gave it all I had. I gave it all I had and I hope I get to, I hope I get to play again, I hope I get to play again. But if not, this is my last game.

[01:02:10] I gave it all. I, I had.

[01:02:14] Beautiful.

[01:02:17] Thank you. And there’s one thing that I’m hearing in a lot of that, and you did mention it towards the start and there’s this word, integrity. And you know, for me, that’s like a, perhaps not so secret mission and when it comes to my work and there’s this podcast as well, so I want to, and, you know, throw to you.

[01:02:33] What do you see integrity as? What, what does that mean? What does it look like?

[01:02:44] Integrity for me is being able to count on yourself. I think that’s the essence of it, because if I can count on me, then others can count on me, if others can count on me, then we can create and grow and expand and build. And if we can do all those things, then we can create impact. If we can create impact, you know, that’s legacy. Legacy. Leaving something behind or living, living something from one moment to the next, that’s the greatest healing of all.

[01:03:17] We’ve all at some point in our life have done something for somebody that maybe you couldn’t do it for themselves. And the feeling, the joy that moment, we just cherish for 30 seconds or five minutes. Like I get to feel it a lot, almost daily. You get to feel that quite a bit with clients because your service industry and I feel being in integrity.

[01:03:43] For me, it really means being able to count on me. And that I think for men is one of the greatest challenges is being able to count on themselves.

[01:03:55] Mike: [01:03:55] Yeah. I think what comes into my mind straight away is that word honesty that you were just talking about, right? Because that means you have to be honest with yourself.

[01:04:05] JuVan: [01:04:05] Absolutely. But I think a lot of men have challenges counting on themselves because they were raised by people they couldn’t count on. They were raised under the context that they had to mother and father with themselves and there are prices that come with that. And they’re so caught up in the trauma of, of all the consequences that come with that, that they never really truly get to transform and ever really truly get to be clear on who they are or answer the question of what they want, or, you know, be present in a moment because their mind is always imprisoned by the past or the future.

[01:04:46] And presence is the greatest gift as we have all heard. Um, but for me, integrity, Mike is really being able to count on me. And what I can say is I can count on me more today than ever, and I trust hope and believe that that relationship will continue to build on it. And I know that it will deep down inside by being in relationship with people like you.

[01:05:10] And I know that being in a relationship with others and, healthy relationships rather, is what makes the world go around, is what makes people achieve success and have great breakthroughs in their life and business. So that’s, that’s very much a part of the fabric of what I’m creating in the world. It’s why I’m here. It’s, it’s who I am and very much a part of the mission that is the Mentour.

[01:05:39] Mike: [01:05:39] Hmm. Beautiful. Thank you. For all of that. I think this is a perfect little time for us to step off. And as you said, we can keep talking about all of this stuff and I’m sure there will be plenty more of these conversations. So, okay, here’s an opportunity to, to give us a little bit of a plug, perhaps some of the specifics of the Mentour, what you’re creating and where people can find you, please.

[01:06:04]JuVan: [01:06:04] Absolutely. So the Mentour is a multinational Charitable organisation based in Los Angeles, California, and Sydney, Australia. And we exist to equip and educate and empower leaders and of men and also men around the world globally. We’re so excited to be a global voice in this conversation, and you can find us online at and also, as well as on Instagram @thementour to find out more information, we get tons of things that we’ll be launching here in the new year. Online Academies, retreats, experiences, both virtual and in person.

[01:06:40] And, um, tons of support coming to the community. Uh, we’re so thankful to be here. And Mike, I just want to just conclude this by, by honouring you and acknowledging you for being a partner in transformation, for being a leader, now a father. You’re a father Mike. And a phemonenal husband. And, um, I just want to acknowledge you for doing the work, so much work before bringing a life into this world and for being a man that is worthy of being not only looked up to, but into for wisdom, guidance and direction, it means the world. Our relationship means the world to me. I love you dearly and deeply, and I’m excited to see how this podcast takes the world by storm.

[01:07:25] Mike: [01:07:25] Thank you, brother. I appreciate that. And look, I mirror those things straight back to you. You know, it’s been a, it’s been an amazing friendship to be in and foster. And you know, when you speak about, well, certainly for those who don’t know, you know, we almost lived together for the back six months of last year, as we created Manifest with a group of other people, but it was very much, a lot of time together.

[01:07:46] You and I, and it was such a joy. And also, you know, one of the things that pop straight into my head is, you know, the moment that I received a phone call from Nardi. And my gut told me there was something else about that call. You might remember. I got up from the room and I, and I left the room and then I came back and I had this like stunned mullet, I think is the term, look on my face.

[01:08:05] And you’re like, you’re right, bro. Uh, Nardia is pregnant. And so, you know, there was this whole other level of intimacy there in that moment in our friendship. But also it was the space that you were able to provide for me in that moment of like, processing what the fuck!? And that speaks to you and your heart and your generosity and your, your presence and your power.

[01:08:29] And I appreciate that. And you, and, in our friendship. And I just want to thank you again so much for coming on to this podcast, brother, a joy to have you here. Thank you so much.

[01:08:38] JuVan: [01:08:38] Appreciate it, brother. I love you.

[01:08:41] You’ve been listening to the Everyday Legends podcast. The show dedicated to helping everyday men build legendary relationships; with yourself, with your partners and in your world.0

[01:08:53] If you have got something from this podcast, please share it with someone that you think could benefit from it, and please visit your home for podcasts: like us, subscribe to us, leave us a review. Your feedback is phenomenal in getting this in front of more eyes and ears until next time I’m Mike Campbell. And remember to build that legendary integrity.


Contact Deets for JuVan:


Other Ways To Consume this podcast:

Get Involved: