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Issue #4: A Sovereign Man is Unfuckwithable

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In all the men I’ve worked with and coached to make huge positive changes in their behaviours, self-belief, and lives, there’s one truth that runs through:


It wasn’t the morning routine or more money that did it.


It was facing their insecurities and making them secure.


Because a solid, secure, sovereign man is unfuckwithable.


Most men don’t need a fancy morning routine.

They don’t need to accomplish more.

Or even to create more financial security.


They need to be able to face their insecurities, their fears, the shit from their past that still haunts them –  and do the work to become secure.

Let me share a quick story…

The words that came out of his mouth made me laugh. Out loud.


I remember recently sitting with Pete, one of my Inner Circle clients.


He shared a story about how he had responded to a common (and historically frustrating) situation very differently from how he would have in the past.


In the past, it would have been very defensive. Driven by insecurity.

He would have been IN the emotion.

Ungrounded. Flighty. Unclear. Reactive.


This time he chose different.

We’ve been working on these triggers, on the need to be right, to be recognised.

He’s been stepping into sovereignty in so many ways, but in the owning, processing and being a mature and grounded steward of his emotions – next level.


So, this time he was very grounded. Calm. Empowered. Compassionate. With ease. Grace. Strength.


He said it was a totally different way of going about it – he was able to centre himself, see what the actual problem was and speak to that calmly, powerfully.

He said it wasn’t even such an effort, he just felt so much stronger in it.


I asked him how he felt.


He responded with a kind of foreign confusion.

“Great but I don’t know WTF this is. It feels foreign?!”


I LOL’d.

And said “It sounds to me like you feel secure”


*ding* a penny dropped.


“Oooohhhhh, this is what it feels like. Solid. At ease. Attached to the ground. Not at the whims of my insecurities.”

We’ve been taught that:

More accomplishments, more money, more productivity = a more successful (and worthwhile) man.


Often in the pursuit of that WE get lost.

Very fucking lost.

Those things are helpful, but they’re not it.


I can’t count the number of men who’ve asked me for my morning routine.

Or who have been flogging themselves at work to achieve more, create more, earn more – yet, no matter how much of that they accumulate, remain insecure.


And that insecurity is an endless fuel source.


If you want to be grounded, solid, and at peace within yourself – the answers aren’t in some other dude’s morning routine.


And they certainly aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, or in the next conquest, or achievement, or income bracket (unless you are in objective poverty and survival).


What is insecure internally must be made secure internally.


If you don’t have solid ground under your feet, stop trying to find new ground and start building foundations.