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Issue #16: Unveiling the Meaning of High Value

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I want to dive into a topic that has been on my mind – the idea of being a high-value man.


In our world today, the concept of a high-value man is thrown around in various forms of content, from personal development to men’s work.


It’s a term that can get plenty of air time, but I believe it’s often misunderstood and misconstrued.


I think it can be confusing, especially for everyday men encountering it.


I mean, what does it really mean to be ‘high-value’?


Let’s start by simplifying it.


To understand what it means to be high value, we first need to examine what we value that, therefore, contributes to being high value.


Historically, society has primarily valued men for their achievements, what they can produce, and what they can accomplish.


The consequence of this is that many men struggle to value themselves for who they are, separate from what they can do and their achievements.


While it’s essential to appreciate accomplishments and achieving results is crucial, it can’t be everything. It can’t be the only thing valuable about you as a person.


Yet, it often overshadows the importance of valuing ourselves for who we are.


It’s equally important to value yourself for who you are.


Now, let’s not disregard the importance of accomplishments, a good job doing effective and meaningful work, financial success, status, and influence.


They can be significant indicators of a man’s value.


However, they aren’t the whole picture.


My own experience working with thousands of men has reinforced this. I have seen this evidenced in the majority of men I have worked with.


The challenge is to detach our worth from what we do, how well we can do that and our achievements. Removing our worth from the external rewards of achieving; money, status, power, and possessions.


We’ve all encountered people in high-status positions who lack true value because they lack integrity, kindness, and other crucial character traits.


Men with great financial security who are massively insecure.


Men in positions of power only because of the power they wield over others, holding no power within themselves.


Men with a long list of accomplishments and no sense of self.


It’s essential to create your definition of a high-value man.


Great, so where and how do we start with this?


Well, I put it to you it’s really quite simple.


On daddy-daughter time. Communication happens in many formats

Introducing a fundamental idea:


“Your values determine your character, and your character determines your value.” 


Having VALUE – being a man of value – is all downstream from living your values.


Your values act as a compass for the direction of your life. This concept might seem simple, but it’s profoundly important.


What this first requires of us and invites us to do, is to get clear on our values.


Let’s take a moment to reflect on your own values:

  • What do you value?
  • What do you want to value?


Note that they can change and evolve as you grow and learn.


A lot of your past experiences, childhood environment, culture, parents, community, etc, will impact what you value. Your job is to wade through all the noise, through what might have been passed down or impressed upon you that might not fully land with you as yours, and put down what isn’t for you and crystallise what is.


Sometimes, our values are influenced by our fears, insecurities, and past experiences. For instance, you may value hard work because it without hard work and achieving you don’t feel worthy of love and belonging and joy.


But true value doesn’t come from running away from your fears; it comes from embracing your values and living them authentically.


Sure, value hard work. But can you detach your worth from it? Can you value hard work and ease and enjoying life?


To help you get started, consider these steps:


1. Identify what you have been valuing in your life and why.

2. Determine what you want to value, and what is truly important and of value to you.

3. Define what it looks like to embody those values in your everyday life.

4. Live these values – make them a part of your daily choices and actions. Strive to embody these at all times, despite our uncomfortable it might seem.

5. Be flexible in these values shifting for you or other values taking a higher spot as you become clearer and more aligned.


Living your values can be challenging but immensely rewarding.


The Pillars of High-Value Men

While your specific values may differ, some universal pillars of being a valuable man include health, self-respect, integrity, strength, honesty, kindness, and curiosity. These qualities form the foundation of a man who is capable in the world and respectful of himself and others.


Figuring out your values is part one.


Then the real challenge is to live them. Especially when it’s not easy.


Being honest, for instance, may require courage in uncomfortable situations.


It can also seem like it butts up against kindness; ‘Do I be honest or kind?’


When in actual fact, honesty is kindness. Lying to someone, while it might feel tough in the short term, can be the kindest act in the long term.


However, the most important in here is that it is up to you to define this and live accordingly. In alignment with that.


The journey towards becoming a high-value man is not always easy, but it’s incredibly rewarding.


It’s a process, not a destination.


Embrace the challenge and stay committed to living your values. You’ll find that the true path to being valuable a man starts with knowing your values and embodying them.


But remember, your values are not just for the long term; they are for now.


As you start living your values, you’ll see profound changes in your life. Your character will become stronger, and you’ll begin to embody a man of high value. Your self-respect, self-awareness, and self-worth will grow, strengthening your foundation as a high-value man.


Invest in Self-Awareness


One of the keys to all of this even getting a foot-hold in your life is self-awareness.


Understanding your values and living them requires self-awareness. It requires regular reflection, introspection, feedback from honest and trusted people.


Seek guidance through strong, kind and insightful friends. Or through coaching, mentoring, or courses. Surround yourself with people who can hold you accountable to your values and remind you of your true potential when you falter.

Especially when you struggle to see it yourself.


I hope you find this reflection on values and high-value inviting and useful.